MUDDLED TIMES.

There's a new MUD2 magazine that can be found on the internet. Lexley has been very busy and I must admit I'm well impressed with her new magazine called Witch?. It contains tons of information and articles not only for the more experienced players but for the newbies too. In particular, the newbies section has some wonderful advice and is well worth a read. The magazine is designed beautifully and is a pleasure to browse through with a nice cup of tea. I can't wait for the next issue (G).

CHECK IT OUT !!
Just follow the link below.

THURSDAY 18th February.

THURSDAY 25th February.

THURSDAY 4th March.

There will be a couple of rules that must be followed during the event and these will given to everyone just before kick off. This event is for fun and you can choose to cause as much injury to your opponent in whatever nasty ways you find appealing, however, you must do this on your own and teaming up with other players during the event will be severely frowned upon (G).

Prizes will be awarded as follows?

1st Prize --- 30 pound voucher.
2nd Prize --- 20 pound voucher.
3rd Prize ---10 pound voucher.
Vouchers can be redeemed at PC World, Curry's, Link, and Dixon's.

THURSDAY 11th March.

ABOUT THE RATING SYSTEM

* Very low. Almost inconsequential.
** Low. Not much of a challenge.
*** Average. Lots are like this.
**** High. Something of a challenge.
***** Very high. Attention-grabbing.

There's one additional possibility:
n/a The rating system is not applicable for this particular case.

On with the show!

** The Crows

I confess that I rarely ever see the crows, except for sometimes when a loose one has escaped and is fluttering around. This is because they are produced by the maiden using magic, and I don't often visit the top of the keep where she hangs out. Individually, crows aren't all that tough, but together (and with the maiden) they are a bit of a handful - she can whip up maybe ten or a dozen of them. She only does it when she's fighting so mebody, though, so if you don't attack her (which is my current policy in those rare times I'm at a loose end near a reset and I find the keep unlooted) then there's no danger of getting pecked to bits.

* The Dove

The dove is a peaceful little bird, usually to be found in the gardens north of the keep. It flees a lot if attacked, and would be utterly inconsequential if it weren't for the fact that it lays a golden egg if you can get it to its home. I haven't managed to find a way to carry it or lure it there, but as pushing it a room at a time seems to work just fine I'm not specially worried! If you want to try this out, though, you may need to be quick, because the dove sometimes disappears quite early on in a reset (I suspect because the fox gets it, but I haven't actually seen it happen so I can't be sure).

***** The Dragon

I've given the dragon five stars because my rating system only goes up to five stars.!! He really is the most deadly of all mobiles. If he attacks, you're pretty much dead because even if you flee he incinerates you with his fiery breath. The first time I saw the dragon I'd only been playing for a week or two and wandered over to the dragon's island through a fairy ring. The dragon wasn't dead, and he attacked me. Realising I was not going to win this one, I fled and quit, and upon re-entering was greeted in the tearoom by Lopsy telling me just how lucky I'd been. It didn't feel lucky at the time, I can tell you - I thought being attacked by a dragon was very unlucky! I now know that combat is not the way to kill the dragon. Even the way you are supposed to kill him is dangerous, though, because so many things can go wrong. Having found the directions to the island, and with a brief respite in the weather so you can sail to the dragon's island (avoiding the sharks if you can, which you most probably can't), you have to kill the dragon using the item it tells you about on the signpost. This is not easy! The first time I did it, I walked around looking for the dragon using qn, but I kept tripping up over these root things and getting lost. The dragon found me eventually, but instead of attacking just gave me a hint that I was indeed carrying the correct item to kill him. He doesn't do this every time though (as I found to my cost on another occasion) so I suppose I was a bit fortunate. Anyway, I did the business, and ran away before he char-grilled me. About 10 minutes later he died. Now I tried to repeat this technique a few days later but the dragon moved away before I could do for him and then when he found me again he ate me. I figured there had to be an easier way, and tried waiting where the dragon couldn't get me at sea then nipping on and off of the island using short commands, but the sharks kept getting me or it started to rain.

That's all for this time. Next issue it's the turn of the dragonfly, eagle, Echo, Eros, Exceptionally large goblin and fireflies.

Lexley

As you try to get your bearings, a close but distant voice greets you. Peering throughout the mist you can just make out a ghostly form and something tugs at your memory. "Ah don't I know you for somewhere?" you enquire (secretly wondering if you have had too much fresh sea air). The spectre bows and whispers "I have returned with a message from beyond but must there return soon. Listen to what I have to say and remember it well, for time is too short in this realm". Slowly, a song of magic seeps through your being and you receive a trickle of verse which quickly becomes a raging torrent:

Aries

So you have been playing MUD for a month now. Your partner has had enough and left you, the final straw was a BT letter recommending WP as your Best Friend, with a view to a long-term relationship and possible marriage. Now would be a good time to seek some advice. Pop along to the "MUD and Relationships - We've got the answer" sessions held by the Vampire and Wraith, every Monday at 9pm on the Small Island (weapons, wafers and Allium sativum strictly prohibited).

Taurus

Aspiring to be the best PK ever seemed glamorous at the time. However, clinging to the ladder with a score of fresh-faced Protectors and Warriors bearing farm implements and torches, baying for you blood above the clatter of the keyboards using control-l. Isn't so romantic now. One thought may console you though. At least now your name is well and truly MUD.

Gemini

Mmmm...erm, well it looks like Keyser has already done it. Next time I will predict the winning lottery numbers - before they are drawn (g).

Cancer

Having just made Mage you accept an invite to raid the Dwarven Citadel from a friendly new Warlock called DeathfromAbove. A short while later, as you now sip from the spring. Gazing at your reflection in the tranquil waters, you contemplate all your riches in the next world.

Leo

After you have both bashed your way through a blood-thirsty Quest. Trusty the Companion Nercomancer returns looking very ill after "accidentally" trying to get the treasure horde and forgetting about the last guardian mobile. Take pity and be considerate. Give him the cape to keep him warm as you both sleep. When you are awoken by the toll of the bell. Gather up the treasure and the cape then head towards the swamp with a spring in your step and a small chuckle as you kiss the little gemstone you have kept.

Virgo

Try to avoid the smelly areas of the Land or you may well lose your new found friend and you don't want its rather nasty cousin to find out.

Libra

You and Trusty the Companion Sorcerer decide to take a nap in the King's treasure room, before braving the daylight again. Using the last dwarf as a pillow you settle down to sleep. Fully refreshed you awaken feeling odd, in fact very much lighter. "All the treasure has gone!" you exclaim, waking Trusty. "Jeez mine too, mm.... must be an invisible playing" he sighs and returns to sleep. As he snores you eye Trusty the Companion Necromancer.

Scorpio

Father shouts " Have you seen this phone-bill !!, I'm gonna sell that ruddy computer to pay some of this off !" Mother shouts "Your dinners cold again. That's the last time, you can make your own from now on!" Sister shouts "Your friends called round wondering if you were still alive. I told them to e-mail you !" Baby brother shouts something nasty and cutting about getting a life as baby brothers do.

Enough is enough. Downstairs you swanger, half-blinded by something people call daylight. You point your finger and say "FOD" to each in turn. Leaving them speechless and wide-eyed you return to your lair.

Hellfire the Addicted Arch-Wizz then logs on, drops the Dragon at the rapids and relaxes to the sweet sound of the terrified mortals stampeding for the one-person rooms.

Sagittarius

Perhaps it is wiser to swamp the incense sooner rather than later when conquering the Pegoda. Further advice still, be wary of Wizz's handing out drinks, us mortals are frail, weak and suffer greatly after a sup of Wizzbrew , hot filtered in Dragon's breath.

Capricorn

Join HedgeHog's All-over Wild Workout Unlimited Membership Programme for Health. Activities include sailing, pot-holing, parachuting, cross-country running and self-defence. Prizes are regularly awarded to the fastest achievers. Subscription is free, all part of the MUD package. Contact HedgeHog for more details. Please note late arrivals are welcome to the prize ceremonies. Disclaimer: HHAWWUMPH accepts no liability for injury or loss of life.

Aquarius

Your 195k Mage arrives ten minutes into the reset and already the tearoom looks like a scene from MASH. First big question is, has Comet eaten six wafers or seven ?. The second question is, do you nurse those that are only just still living, over a cup of tea or go North ?.

Pisces

In a choking plume of dust you bounce off the mattress and pick yourself up without injury. Before you sleeping snuggly but looking very pale and close to death, is Trusty the Companion Mage. His eyes move rapidly. "Probably dreaming of how easy it was to get so close to Wizz thanks to me" you think cynically. So with great grace and savouring every moment you swing your broadsword and relish in the fact that his next and final dream word will be "Not Updating Personna".

The song subsides and drifts away. The spectral form bows as she begins to shimmer and fade. The words "Remember Remember" are left echoing in your mind until they also dissipate.

Dazed and confused you stumble and trip. Down you fall. To one side there is a click and a creak followed by a whoosh of air. An old memory rushes to warn but is abruptly cut-off in mid flow. In a distant part of the Land a Raven cries "Nevermore !".

Black Rose.

A Beginners Guide to Mapping The Land

So how have I gone about mapping the land ? Well, you have to start by realising what you are trying to achieve. There are two objectives:

1. To differentiate between the different places in the land.
2. To understand how the different places are linked together.

The most basic tool we have to help achieve these objectives is the EXITS command. The EXITS command lists all the links to other places from the place you are in. If you use AUTO EXITS, all links will automatically be shown whenever you enter a new place. For example, go to the Fuming Swamp and type EXITS. Notice that to the East is West Lush Pasture. We have now achieved both objectives. Clearly West Lush Pasture is not the Fuming Swamp, and we know that it is to the East of the Fuming Swamp. Now for a slightly more complex example. From the Fuming Swamp, type S,S to end up in the Bandstand. Type EXITS here. Notice that in all directions there is Pine Forest. Here the EXITS command alone does not achieve the objectives because it is not able to differentiate between two different places that have the same short description. In these cases, we can have a look at the place's long description to see if that can help us. The LOOK command is used to see the long description of the place you are in. If you use the VERBOSE command, the long description will automatically be shown whenever you enter a new place. For example, from the Bandstand go N, and type LOOK here. Notice that you are in a place called Pine Forest, where the long description ends in the words 'to get through'. Now go S to return to the Bandstand, and then go W, and type LOOK here. Now you are in a place which is also called Pine Forest,but this time the long description ends in the words 'resembling a bandstand'. We have now once again achieved both objectives.

The combination of AUTO EXITS and VERBOSE is not sufficient to map the whole of the land, but it will do most of it. There is however one more thing you will need before you start - a way of recording all the different places, in the land, and how they are linked. I use pieces of paper with 15 columns headed as follows:

No. Description N NE E SE S SW W NW U D I O Comments.

Each row under the headings is a different place in the land, and shows links from that place. For example, the Bandstand example I gave earlier would be recorded as follows:

No.    Description    N NE E SE S SW W NW U D I O     Comments.
 1     Bandstand      2                 3
 2     Pine Forest                                    to get through
 3     Pine Forest                                    resembling a bandstand

No. Description N NE E SE S SW W NW U D I O Comments.
-1--Bandstand---2--2-2--X-X--4-3--5-X-X-X-5

Using this method, I have been able to map most of the land. I know there are outstanding questions, like what to do if both the short and the long descriptions of two different places are the same. And it is certainly not easy to turn the record of places and links into an actual map either. Maybe I will give advice on these things in future articles, but in the meantime 'Happy Mapping'.

Xena.

On a lighter note, isn't it funny that, for the vast majority of submissions for this section the authors wanted to remain anonymous. Perhaps it has something to do with the fact that some of the articles are so embarrassing for the player concerned, that they would never live it down in the land.

An idea for when you're bored !

Mojo.

Temper Temper !

Mojo.

#verb_ retaliate command#
{ retaliate object }:
        retaliate%(first, me)
{ retaliate string }:
        !? "The saying, *"Sticks and stones may break my bones, but words*
will never hurt me*" inexplicably pops into your head.*N"
#action_ retaliate%#
{ retaliate% portable ?? }:
checknforced() &
second -| humanoid ->>
        fighting(second) 'f' = [] ->>
                second !! "What for? You're not in a fight..!*N",
        first -| seaboat & outside(second) -| searm ->>
                second !! ("You can't use your " + obj%(first, second) +
                        " as a weapon when you're at sea!*N"),
        wpnused(second)=first ->>
        $(      second !! ("You're using " + the%(first, second) + " anyway...*N")
                ?3 |
                $(      missturn(second) + := 1
                        second !! "Your guard drops momentarily in your confusion.*N"
                $)
        $),
        $(      checkusing(first, second)
                second !! ("You are now using " + the%(first, second) +
                        " to fight!*N")
                f >.< 'd',
                        sees(h_ (fighters(d) / second) 'hf',
                                ((\blinded(hf) & litroom(second, hf)) 'cs' ->>
                                        theu%(second, hf),
                                        $^ some%(second, hf)) +
                                                " has started to use " +
                                                (cs ->> the%, some%)(first, hf) +
                                                " to fight!*N"
                                )
                331 !! (theu%(second, //) + " retaliates with " +
                        the%(first, //))
        $),
        !? "Only humanoids can use weapons.*N"
{ retaliate% ?? ?? }:
checknforced() &
        !?^ "That's no good, you can't even pick it up.*N"