MOJO UNDER TORTURE
Cat the cruel wizard tears off one of Mojo's arms, ties one end to the Pony, and the other to the Mammoth, and shouts "Go Horsey Go!"
Cat the cruel wizard guts Mojo, ties one end of his innards to a pillar, and chases him round and round until he runs out of insides.
Cat the cruel wizard ties Mojo to a chair and grows moss on him. Cat then cuts a cruel incision in Mojo's chest and inserts a sapling.
Cat the cruel wizard watches the tree growing in Mojo with interest. Cat pours pitch over the tree, waves a lit match around for a while to add a bit of suspense, then lights the tree and watches it go WHHOOOOOSHHHH!
Cat the cruel wizard douses Mojo by plunging him 5 fathoms deep, deep down into the ocean, where a passing Kraken takes the opportunity to munch on Mojo's smokey-flavoured bones.
Cat the cruel wizard steals Mojo's crunched up bones and puts them in a crusher, where they are smashed into a smooth paste, which Cat carefully spreads on a large slice of warm bread - before feeding the bread to a group of ducks (which sadly develop BSE).
Cat the cruel wizard drops the ducks, after strangling them humanely, down a deep hole in the ground...unfortunately poisoning the whole of the local water table.
Cat the cruel wizard despairs. In an effort to remove all traces of Mojo, he explodes the local star, killing all traces of life in the solar system.
Cat the cruel wizard rests content.